If your goal is to get your honey to lay off the “honey” and hit the gym, the worst approach you can take is a blunt one. No one wants to be told they need to work out, especially if they’ve put on a few “love” pounds over the years. However, you can motivate your significant other to get more fit without hurting his/her feelings or damaging your relationship.
- Take the “let’s get healthy” approach. You want your sweetheart around for the long haul and being out of shape is not only a little unattractive, it can be working against the aging process. Those who infuse cardio and exercise into their lives can help slow down the aging process and prevent chronic and possibly deadly diseases.
- Let his/her doctor take the blame. Your significant other’s doctor told him/her some tests were a little off–the cholesterol or sugars were too high, for example. Tell your sweetheart you love him/her and that you want to lower the numbers together in the gym.
- He/she is feeling a bit sluggish and tired lately–exercise can help. Rev the engines and increase energy levels by being more physically active. If he/she complains that he/she is exhausted all the time, consider adding a quick walk or run at night. Once your significant other sees the increase in energy he/she may want to hit the gym to achieve that level of pep.
- Focus completely on health and not weight. Especially if you are heading into or are already in middle age or beyond, exercise is no longer just to look hot. It keeps the organs healthy and may help your honey avoid the same medications his/her friends have started (i.e. blood pressure pills etc.).
2. Compliment his/her toned physique after one workout. The best way to keep the motivation train running is to start gushing a few days following that initial workout. He/she will love the strokes, which may have him/her continuing with the workouts.
Be sincere and not fake. Don’t tell him/her that after that first workout he/she has certainly lost 20 pounds. However, a compliment like, “Hey, your biceps look firmer or your butt looks pretty good” will take you pretty far.
Don’t deliver a compliment while looking for one in return. Don’t be flexing in the mirror, glance over and then say, “Hey baby, you look hot, what do you think about these guns?” He/she will know it’s a backhanded compliment and see through your ruse.
3. Choose a fitness routine that may not seem like exercise. For example, suggest taking a doubles tennis class together or ballroom dancing. He/she may think it’s a fun way to bond, when in reality you’ll know that you are raising his/her heart rate.
Find something that will interest your mate. Maybe a game of touch football sounds like heaven on earth to you, but to him/her it’s a snooze fest. Consider what he/she would enjoy before you start making plans.
Get friends in on your game. If your friend wants to get his/her spouse or partner to workout too, make it a foursome for added fun (make sure that the spouses are friends before you commit).
Select something he/she can do. Don’t go hard core if your sweetie hasn’t been working out lately or hasn’t worked out at all. Find something you know he/she will find success and enjoy.
Get competitive. Some people are motivated by friendly competition. Consider rolling out a “challenge” where you will see who can be a better golfer, runner etc.
4. Talk about your successful results–without being annoying. Nothing motivates some people more than seeing their partner getting hot and toned while they are still sluggish and doughy (although be careful with this notion as some people may retreat into sloth even more).
Pull out old clothes that you’d been saving for a “skinny day.” He/she may be green with envy if you can fit back into your old size or better yet—the smallest size ever.
Purchase new clothing that accentuates your new figure. Shopping can be fun when you are able to wear outfits you couldn’t fit into before. He/she may see that and want the same for him or herself.
5. Ask him/her to motivate you to work out. Another way to entice your mate to exercise is to act as though (or maybe it’s true) you can’t get motivated to work out unless you have a partner–your significant other.
Ask him/her to help you devise a fitness plan. This is a sneaky way of getting him/her to perhaps look at a fitness plan for him or herself. Use online apps or fitness websites to help you configure a program that will fit both of your needs.
Tell him/her you can’t get motivated unless he/she joins you. Avoid whining when asking him/her to continue to stick to the program. Be direct but explain that your continued dedication is dependent upon his/her participation.